Here is the second sketch that I have written for my upcoming sketch comedy show. This one is based on this comic. I just took that initial idea of a guy wearing a shirt and wound up on some weird journey. Not sure how I got there, but I just kept going and wound up with something I may rewrite to make better. It could have legs, but I think it still needs work.

You can write one of your own sketches and submit it here.


GUY 1

Well you’re just a big fat stupid guy with a shirt.

GUY 2

Well you’re just a big, dumb guy without a shirt.

GUY 1

Oh man. You’re right. I need to rethink my life.

GUY 2

Glad I could help.

NARRATOR

This was the day that Guy 1 put his shirt on. When he did his brain grew three sizes and he applied to a Phd program.

GUY 1

Well you see professor, I can cure cancer with green bologne because I can.

Professor

You’re a genius Guy 1.

NARRATOR

He then got bored with academia and decided to win an NBA championship.

ANNOUNCER

He shoots! He scores! Guy 1 has led the Charlotte Hornets to their first ever NBA championship.

CROWD

YEAH! Guy 1!

TEAMMATE

We couldn’t have done this without you buddy.

LADY

You did it!

ANNOUNCER

Next he climbed Mount Everest.

GOD

Hi Guy 1.

GUY 1

Hi God!

GOD

I’m really glad I got to meet you.

GUY 1

I’m glad I got to meet you, too. Who would have thought you just hide at the top of Mount Rushmore.

GOD

The view is some of my best work.

Both

Ha ha ha ha!

ANNOUNCER

All the while GUY 2 sat in the shadows being really jealous.

GUY 2

Somehow I inspired the greatest achiever that ever lived and I hate that he does everything that I will never do.

ANNOUNCER

So GUY 2 sought him out while he was convincing Vladimir Putin to give up power and take a vacation in Italy.

PUTIN

You say that Florence is great this time of year.

GUY 1

Yes it is Vladimir Putin. It’s a great place to be Putin on the Ritz.

BOTH

Hahahaha!

GUY 2

I hate you GUY 1!

GUY 1

What?!

GUY 2

You suck. You’d be nothing without me and I hate that.

GUY 1

Oh yeah. You’re the guy who told me to put on a shirt. I was meaning to thank you.

GUY 2

Too late.

GUY 2 takes off GUY 1’s shirt.

PUTIN

Screw Florence I’m a dictator.

GOD

It wasn’t actually me. You were just hallucinating.

TEAMMATE

They did a review! Your shot was actually too late.

PROFESSOR

The green bologne actually just turned everyone into flesh eating zombies! It’s the apocalypse!

ANNOUNCER

It was complete chaos.

GUY 1

Well maybe I was never really that great.

GUY 2

Hey man! In the grand scheme of things all we can really do is try. It’s going to be crazy and weird, but at least you did it. Sorry for being so jealous of you.

GUY 1

No worries man.